


katsuki yuuri, explained

by wartransmission



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Character Study, Introspection, M/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 21:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11654685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission
Summary: At age 9, Yuuri is always alone, but he likes it that way.When he is alone, after all, he doesn’t have to be scared of making any mistakes.[Character study fic, with Yuuri through the years in 6 parts.]





	katsuki yuuri, explained

i.

 

Yuuri at age 9 isn’t as friendly as his peers, choosing to remain by himself to practice his ballet.

He doesn’t choose to be alone. He doesn’t really intend to push everyone away. It’s just that people are so annoying, when they force themselves into his space and act like they belong there when they don’t. It’s especially irritating, when they ask question after question after question, like they have any right to know anything about what he loves and what he doesn’t when they aren’t even close to being his friends.

He doesn’t choose to be alone. But maybe he does, in the end.

Because he doesn’t always make his replies, when they ask him things. He will give a polite nod and shake of his head every now and then, but more often than not, the anxiety of having to deal with multiple people at once makes it difficult for him to breathe and talk properly. It’s easier, often, to just run away and find a quiet corner to breathe in, or to find Minako’s studio and practice his form there.

She understands him, for all that they aren’t related by blood. She knows to give him space when he finds her, knows that what he needs isn’t coddling, but the firm hand of a coach ready to teach him how to be beautiful in the way that she is when she dances.

At age 9, he is always alone, but he likes it that way.

When he is alone, after all, he doesn’t have to be scared of making any mistakes.

 

ii.

 

Yuuri at age 10 isn’t friendly still, perhaps he never will be, but he meets Yuuko.

Yuuko is…beautiful. She’s pretty without trying too hard, she’s graceful on the ice, and she doesn’t make fun of Yuuri for wanting to be as graceful as she is. She is patient with him, and kind, and endlessly supportive when he makes his first attempt at skating on the same ice as her.

She doesn’t judge him the way that Nishigori does, when he tries and tries and _tries_ to skate for her.

“Don’t be mean to him, Takeshi-kun!” she chastises, tugging Yuuri up by the arms and letting him find his balance at her side. She doesn’t hesitate to make herself into a wall against the big, mean bully that pushed him flat onto the ice, and for that, he finds himself awed by her.

He doesn’t understand love yet, not really.

But.

It wouldn’t be too far-fetched, if he were to say that he likes her.

 

 

iii.

 

Yuuri at age 12 gets to know Viktor Nikiforov when Yuuko introduces him through the static-y blur of the Ice Castle's TV as the most graceful skater on the ice.

 _Everyone_ (his mother, his father, Mari, Yuuko, Nishigori, Minako, and _every other guest_ who’s often at the Yu-topia Katsuki) knows what happens, at this point.

He doesn’t fall in love, but it comes close.

Far, far too close.

(How else would you explain dedicating twelve years of your life to a sport that constantly strains your heart with anxiety and expectations, just to finally be on the same level of the man you idolize?)

 

iv.

 

Yuuri at age 18 meets Phichit Chulanont and, for the first time in his life, Yuuri finally realizes just why it is people like having friends so much.

Phichit doesn’t force him to do anything, or to be anyone he isn’t. Phichit doesn’t ask him if he’s okay like he’s forced to for politeness’ sake, the same way that he knows some people do back at home in Hasetsu. Phichit comes to him on his own, with no pushing on Yuuri’s part, and he treats Yuuri like he is an equal even when they have three years between them.

Phichit likes Yuuri as he is:

stubborn, incorrigibly perfectionistic, introverted and _terrible_ at handling his feelings.

Phichit likes Yuuri in all his imperfections, likes pulling him into pictures and taking him to new places and being his _friend_ , and Yuuri-

Yuuri appreciates that, appreciates _him_ , far more than words could ever hope to express.

 

v.

 

Yuuri at age 23 meets Viktor Nikiforov in person, snubs him because of his shattered, broken pride, and ends up engaged to him barely a year later.

Yuuri doesn’t know how a single event, that one banquet in Sochi that he unknowingly erased from his memory, could have led to everything that he has now. He is not retired like he thought he would be, has a silver medal from the GPF hanging in a shelf in his home in Hasetsu, and is fighting for gold in the competitions after while training with his coach and now-fiancé in his home rink at St. Petersburg.

(Perhaps a little too late,) he realizes that he isn’t alone.

That he never was, for all that he thought nobody ever understood him. He’s been loved- _still_ loved- this whole time that he thought he was fighting all on his own, and there are so many of his friends and family, so many of the people he doesn’t even _know_ , who have supported him through all the years that he struggled to find his place on the ice against Viktor.

Yuuri, at age 23, finds love in places he’s never thought to look, and all because of this one man he’s loved since he first knew what beauty on the ice was.

 

vi.

 

Yuuri at age 29 is married to a beautiful, stubborn, and endlessly loving husband in the name of Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov.

(It’s a mouthful, and Yuuri had tried to argue his point, but Viktor is stubborn in equal measure and they had to settle for the next best thing, which was the hyphenated surnames.

Viktor is a stubborn idiot, but he’s Yuuri’s stubborn idiot, so.)

They have returned to Hasetsu after retirement, settled and made their home right next door to his family’s _ryokan_ , and built with their own hands a small restaurant that shows off their shared love for food from both of their home countries. They are not perfect, for all that gossip rags like to put them on a pedestal because of their outlandish shows of affection (if anyone thought their exhibition skate where Yuuri first got his silver was the last time they’d share the ice, they would be absolutely _wrong_ ), but for Yuuri, it feels close enough to it that he can’t find it in him to deny anyone for praising their relationship.

They have their fights, sometimes. They are both too stubborn for their own good to settle for compromises at times, Yuuri is still prone to irritability because of his anxiety, Viktor can be a little too carefree or withdrawn in that way where he hides what he feels with a smile when Yuuri least likes it, but they _try,_ is the thing. They keep trying, pushing and pushing until they both give, and they learn to settle for a middle ground where they can both be happy.

Yuuri does the grocery shopping because he’s better at haggling, Viktor does the shopping for other things because he’s the right kind of charismatic to make storeowners be convinced towards his price range, Yuuri does the dishes and Viktor does the laundry and-

it’s good. It’s perfect, in Yuuri’s eyes. He could start to feel that nagging exhaustion tugging at his brain and all he’d have to do is look at his phone and see:

 

 

and he would remember, as Viktor often reminds him, that he is loved. For all his struggles in life in the past and the now, for all those times that he felt alone and frustrated, he couldn’t even think to ask for more than this.

He has all the love and life he could ever need, just from this one man who calls him home.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My day 6 entry for Yuuri week! I hope you all like it ♥ Let me know if you liked it, have any suggestions, or anything else in the comments! Thank you so much for reading ♥♥♥


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